I wrote this I'm guessing by the looks of the faded legal pad and the dates of the preceding writings in the notepad, sometime around late March of 2012. I eventually adapted this free-write into a poem called Penny Billionaire which I published in my first and only book (thus far) of a compilation of 26 poems that I had carefully picked from over the course of the 26 years of my life, at that time. Now 32, fast forward 7 and 1/2 years and today is September the 24th, of 2019 and I woke up early this morning, very early. I found myself in my attic looking for a legal pad to write a letter on because half of my stuff and Zacs' stuff is in our attic since we moved into a very tiny, very charming 768 square ft. house this past April. While sifting through boxes, AHA! I found a legal pad with very few pages written in, and it was already flipped to this page. Nostalgia led me to sit on the floor of the dusty, dim attic around 5:30AM and read:
"Give Me Back My Confidence
This is for you...and this is for me...that we would RISE and become a generation FOUND, out of everything lost, formed from the scraps and pieces of broken and forgotten hopes. We will build with what we have and we will tear down what we're NOT, and RISE out from the cracks and scams we let one another fall into. If I do not care about the lowest of men, I hate humanity and have doomed its death. I am you and you are me. Lest we love each other, we will kill the only true life we have.
From the worlds lost change
I became a billionaire
through the worlds forgotten dreams
I formed a whole new universe
I collected dirty napkins
scribbled with chicken scratch
and formed a literary masterpiece
At every moment in time
when someone lost hope
I was there, catching tears
sweeping up the remains
of what they let go
and my house is a palace filled
with rooms and rooms and rooms
of deserted dreams
the treasures reach the ceilings
the ideas, I hardly have room
the hopes, the generous acts
I can hardly keep track
On the darkest of streets
I found diamond rings
along with hope deferred
I picked up melodies
that no one ever sings
and sang a SONG
that set fire to bones
these bones boiled blood
that soon burned
muscles and tendons
this song became fingers pressed
on empty chests
breaking through
skin and burning flesh
MY CONFIDENCE
WAS RESTORED
It began with pocket change
just dimes and pennies
I filled jars
that soon filled drawers
then cabinets, and closets and entire rooms
The eloquent words
the tiny sparks
that spoke of reason for living
I told you already
I traveled the world
collecting what you lost
So I could meet you at the opportune moment
and restore to you lost confidence
The words that you've been missing
I AM CONFIDENT that you will soon remember"
If you are reading this now, I believe this is a NOW word for your season of life, and it is a Word for this current generation and older generations on the Earth that have been wandering around aimlessly for too long! RISE up and fulfill your calling! Be inspired by my poetry and writings! You can read of this particular writing, and see how it turned into my poem Penny Billionaire; by checking out my book I Am an Artichoke and My Heart is Delicious! 🔽🔽↓↓↓Click the link below↓↓↓🔽🔽to find my book on Amazon.
⏩CLICK HERE TO VIEW MY BOOK! I Am an Artichoke and My Heart is Delicious ⏪
