Aunt Anna at our wedding reception, November 2014, West Hurley NY
It's been five days since Zac's great-aunt Anna died. I haven't really been able to process her death yet because I found out she fell last Saturday and I was working a trip. I got home on Monday the 14th and hoped I could fly out and see her on Tuesday, but she passed away that morning at 8:30. It all happened too fast.
My relationship with Aunt Anna is unique, I didn't grow up knowing her. I spent a little time with her at various family gatherings from 2013-2016 in upstate New York, but our bond didn't really begin until I began my career at Delta just six short months ago. I finished training at the end of April and headed up to NYC where I was based from May to September. I didn't have a place to stay while I was working in NYC, and I only had two days to figure that out. I toured crash pads...most of which had less than suitable living standards. I was getting nervous and scared, and Zac had been trying to get a hold of his Aunt Anna for a couple of days to see if I could stay with her until I found something. It literally wasn't until the eleventh hour that he reached her and she was more than willing to let me come stay with her. I called her the night before I had to be out of the hotel Delta had provided for two days, and she said I could come and stay and she didn't care how long I needed to stay for; she just wanted me to come.
The next morning began our short but sweet friendship. I made my way over to Manhattan from Queens with my one suitcase and found myself at her doorstep on the Upper East Side. She welcomed me and even cleaned out a closet over night for me to keep my stuff, which I didn't expect at all. I believe she was mostly happy to not be alone in her fairly large...for NYC apartment. She was 92 years old and living by herself with very little assistance, if any at all. She rarely received assistance from a state provided aide; sometimes she went 10+ days without anyone coming to her apartment. She received meals on wheels because she couldn't cook much anymore, and she ate very little at this stage in her life.
I often felt bad for her being all by herself, but she was an extremely strong and resilient woman. She was full of her own opinions and wasn't afraid to voice what she thought about anything. Which is why I'm glad she made it past the election day to actually see her candidate of choice win. She often said, "I'm a Trump girl because he tells it like it is, and so do I. I always tell it like it is." And she most certainly did. She was a survivor and as my friend Jenny, who had the pleasure of meeting her said, "she was the epitome of a true New Yorker." She loved the sound of traffic and honking and the hustle and bustle of the city. She said she couldn't ever sleep well in the country because it was too quiet; which is why she never left her New York City apartment, she vowed that she would never leave.
I often complained to Zac about having to go back and forth between NYC and Atlanta, but Zac reminded me what if God brought you all the way to NYC so you could make a difference in Aunt Anna's life? What if it has nothing to do with Delta and all along God needed someone to bring comfort to this lady at the end of her life? That statement radiates in my mind now more than ever that I know I spent essentially the last five months of her life with her. We never know know what is going to happen from one day to the next in any of the lives around us; that is why we must give the people around us our full attention, our fullest love and our most genuine kindness.
I'd like to share a couple of my favorite memories from our short time together...it's amazing how many memories I now have with her from such a short time that I can't share all of them. One night in particular really sticks out to me. I got home around 7:30 and was exhausted and I had every intention of going right to sleep, but there was Aunt Anna all dressed up with her hair adorned with her usual flowers, jewelry on, and a nice outfit wanting to take me to dinner at the Ritz Diner. I gave in and decided to go with her even though I had just ate. I got dressed and we went downstairs towards the Ritz Diner, a restaurant Aunt Anna has probably been to hundreds of times in her life. As we got to the corner to turn towards the diner she said, " I don't want to go there! I'm sick of that place! I want fish and chips at the Irish Pub across the street." I agreed and we went across the street to Baker Street Pub. We go to the doorway and there was a huge step right where the door swung outwards and she said she came there last night to eat and no one saw her to let her in. She couldn't hold the door open and make it up the step at the same time. I realized then that it was her plan all along that we come here to Baker Street so I could help her inside. She had a big smile on her face all night and she of course ordered her craving of fish and chips and then said I like light beer, I want a beer. She said get a drink with me, I'm buying. So I got a glass of wine and we toasted and enjoyed our meal. She was by far the oldest person in the pub and we were the oddest pair, to any onlookers I'm sure. I'm glad she got to finally enjoy her beer and fish and chips!
Another sweet moment I got to witness was in my last month at her apartment I came in form a trip and as I was walking toward her door I heard the piano playing. I thought hmmm, surely that can't be coming from Aunt Anna's apartment. I opened the door and lo' and behold there was Aunt Anna with a stranger at the piano working on chopsticks. I thought oh, wow she finally got a good aide! Her name was Melissa I believe, and she wasn't her aide. I was confused, but she proceeded to tell me her story. She said she just met Anna yesterday on the street . Melissa's church decided to go out on the streets of Manhattan and pray for people and businesses instead of having regular church inside. Melissa found a corner to pray for people and was getting ready to hurry across the street with the crowd when the light changed, but something impressed her to just wait for the next light and that's when Aunt Anna came upon her, walking home from Mass. She instantly took notice of Anna walking by herself, flowers in her hair. It was hard not to notice Anna when she went walking, she was practically a spectacle, a sort of ancient artifact that didn't even reach 5 feet. Whenever I walked with her the sea of people on the sidewalks would part, young kids would stare, even cars would refrain from honking as she crossed the road in front of them because she rarely made it all the way across in just one light. It was rare to see a woman of her age walking around Manhattan, especially alone.
Melissa approached her and explained what she was doing and asked Anna if she wanted prayer for anything. Anna responded "Yes, I have no friends and I want God to give me a friend." So Melissa prayed for her and decided that she would be that friend. She took her out to lunch and here she was the very next day teaching her some piano because she told her she always wanted to learn. I don't know how far their friendship went beyond that day, but I was so touched by the fact that it was God that cared so much for her that even two and half months before her death He was still reaching out to find her and answer her hearts cry. It is the smallest choices and actions we take for the sake of others that matter most in the end. God is at work when we help others.
My last night at her house I asked Anna if she wanted to get a bagel with me before I left in the morning. She said, "NO, I don't want to go, no I don't want a bagel." She was adamant that she didn't want to come, but when I woke up the next morning there she was dressed and ready to go. She insisted she was coming. We walked several blocks down to her, and now my favorite bagel shop, The Daily Bagel. Everyone knew her there, and we had our routine when we went there; she would find us a table and I would order her a cinnamon bagel toasted with butter and a small coffee WITH VERY LITTLE CREAM. We enjoyed our last meal together that morning. She said she was happy that I was going to be home near Zac now, and I'll never forget her telling me that she wasn't worried about me because she knew if I could make it in NYC then I could make it anywhere in the world. NYC has its way of putting a little extra grit in you, and Anna had a lot of that! On our walk back home Anna expressed her worries and cares as she often did, and I said don't worry we will pray when we get back to the house. Ana was full of anxiety, she worried about everyone and everything. I talked to her about casting her cares on the Lord, and I told her how she was never alone because God was with her and she could talk to Him. She said I don't think He hears me, He never says anything, and I pray all the time. I prayed for peace in her heart and mind and most importantly that God would begin to talk to her and comfort her. Just like God answered her prayer for a friend I believe that in her last month and half of life on this Earth that he also answered our prayer, and that He spoke to her and comforted her to her last breath.
She hugged me at least three times before I left for Atlanta on September 26th, and called me twice before I even made it to the airport. I called her back at the airport and in tears she said she just missed me. Zac and I both talked to her again that night and now we will forever miss her and the hospitality and kindness she showed me in a very challenging and transitional time of my life.
In Loving Memory of Aunt Anna, I know you're at peace with the Father in heaven now, rejoicing! I know He's talking to you now. You will be very missed by all the lives you touched. Rest in Peace.
Us at the Ritz Dinner, May 2016 Manhattan
Our last meal together, September 26th, 2016 at the Daily Bagel
