It's hard to believe that within the last five months we have faced some of the hardest changes in our lives and grown exponentially in more ways than one. I'm finally just catching my breath from the emotional marathon I feel like we've just run. I discovered inner strength I didn't know was present in me and have slowly been letting go of my fear of the unknown and need to control my circumstances. I'm embracing constant change, and I'm okay with this new feeling of free falling. I've had some of the most amazing adventures in my first month flying. visiting 20 states and one new country. I've also had some of the most trying circumstances and darkest nights, the most notable being a miscarriage in early March. We have lost everything that felt normal and safe to us. We left our first 'home' we made together, we said goodbye to our friends and our savings account in the move and the loss of both of our jobs in December of last year. I lost my sense of security and control over my life, and we both lost our comfort zones. Our lives in this season have felt like we were turned upside down and shaken by the feet until everything was gone. And with the loss of a potential baby, a deep emptiness came over me as we tried to settle into our foreign apartment. Everything was new, unsettled and unknown. We had never been here in this place before and I was scared.
My next step seemed crazy to me at the time, I threw myself into Delta training which was two months long, six days a week and 8 to 12 hours a day where I lived in a hotel and came home one day a week to see Zac from March 14th-April 29th. Upon graduating from training I was flown to NYC to begin my new career, scared shitless, here I was in the Big Apple struggling to navigate the NYC subways and buses alone in between three airports and staying with Zac's 92 year old great aunt who has been gracious enough to let me stay with her when I need to. So many times I questioned have we done the right thing? Are we making the right choices? The simple answer we hear is a resounding YES. We have felt the leading of the Lord and are confident that we have stepped in the right direction, and I'm hoping our future selves will thank us for the choices we've made and the struggles we're facing now on their behalf. These hard times have shaken me and grown me in ways I struggled to let happen before; and ultimately changed me for the better. I have uncovered new places inside of myself and as James so perfectly stated in James 1:2-4, "I consider it pure joy whenever I face trials of many kinds, because I know that the testing of my faith produces patience, endurance and perseverance." He goes on to say, "Let patience have her perfect work, that you maybe perfect and entire, wanting nothing." I will relish in these verses and be thankful for this season in our lives, because we have been changed for the better.
Thanks for reading our blog and catching up with us. Feel free to send us comments, questions, love notes, emails and our favorite snail mail :-) I look forward to sharing more of mine and Zac's story and hope to one day publish a book of our complete love story which in many ways mirrors the pursuit of the Lord after my life. I'm lucky enough to have ended up with a love story worth retelling, and I married a man who never stopped chasing me after ten years, and who tells me I am the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. He's demonstrated what faithfulness and love is to me and in turn helped me to understand this character of love that comes from God. No one is more faithful, passionate and loving than Father God; and I hope our love story shines some light on those traits that originated in the heart of God. In this season I have seen that the more we become like Him our lives begin to defy the impossible, our lives come alive and our day to day lives become a miracle. Put your trust in a loving and faithful Father today and watch Him do something new in your life. Until next time! Welcome and thanks again for reading our first blog post.
Zac & Leilani
